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Here’s What I’m Telling My Son After Our First College Visit

Dear Max,

I didn't think you'd want to start visiting colleges yet. But since I took your older sister, Sophie, to visit colleges for the first time as a sophomore like you, I offered you a quick trip. You immediately said yes. 

I did everything differently this time around. I learned a lot going through the process with Sophie. I recognized what works and what doesn't. But most of all, I recognized that listening to you and letting you guide this trip was key. You are a different kid than Sophie, in every way.

Instead of squeezing in too many colleges on this first trip, I scheduled one college for us. We didn't have much time—48 hours. Most of which was spent traveling to and from our destination. And, I know you well. You don't like going from one thing to the next. You like to schedule less in order to invest time in the place and the people around you. So, that's what we did.
 
With Sophie, we headed north for her first round of visits. You wanted the opposite. The only criteria you had for visiting your first college was going somewhere warm. I listened. We visited the University of Miami. It was pure sunshine and 80 degrees. 
 
Everyone around us asked if you were a senior. It's not because you look particularly old for your age. It was because most students don't start visiting colleges until junior or senior year. Sophomores, like you, can start now. By starting earlier, we will be able to schedule little, discreet visits to individual colleges along the way instead of a massive, whirlwind trip. That's the best plan for you.
 
When everyone asked you what you wanted to study, you mentioned Classics, quietly. Say it boldly. Say it proudly. Every other student we met wanted a super popular major. Being different is what sets you apart.  
Because I built in time after our visit to UMiami, we got the chance to explore the surrounding area. You and I had a two-hour lunch after our visit. You didn't stop talking, telling me all the things you loved about the school. 
 
We walked around after lunch and went into a few shops. You made me walk on the inside of the sidewalk away from the road, keeping me safe. You held the door for me. You helped me pick out gifts for your younger sister at a store filled with pink everything. You carried the big pink shopping bag for me until we headed to the airport. Not one complaint. 
 
I used to worry about the type of man you would become. At times, I wasn't sure I was guiding you in the right direction. Would you be kind? Would you be a gentleman? Would you even want to go to college someday? All those worries have faded away. Now, my worries are different. 
 
I never thought your sister would go to college only an hour away, but she did. It makes me think you are the one who will go much farther away. My heart will break when you go. But I am positive that you will choose wisely, investing in the one place you love and the people around you. That is who you are. This trip showed me that. Not the man you will become, but the man you are.
 

I love you to-the-Max,

Mom


READ MORE: 5 Things I Told My Son at the Beginning of Sophomore Year